Sentience in a seed-pod

Dudes, I hope you are all sitting down. Last night, I was bitten by what we believe to be a spider. It bit me next to my neck on my trapezius muscle. A thin red line snakes away to my interclavicular lymph node. Another meanders up my throat. The venim seeths. Once again I saw my old friends at the emergency hospital, where they calmly told me that my flesh will blacken and fall away as the venom takes hold.

What they did not tell me is that I will probably now be able to climb walls and buildings, shoot webs from my wrists (or, more probably, my bum) and become incredibly strong. I was disappointed to find that none of this has kicked in by this morning, but maybe tomorrow...