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Artificial articulation with anthropomorphic dexterity
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
Handy FAQ
It's come to my attention that some misunderstandings about the nature of the Geoff may arise from time to time. Please refer to this handy FAQ, and address any further questions to the man himself:
Q: I've noticed that you've been spending a lot of time in your office with the lights off and the aircon on high. Is this because you are depressed, saddened or subdued? Teddy, from Derry, North Carolina, USA
A: It's because I'm hot. And not just in the way you're thinking.
Q: I can't remember the last time you flick-flacked your way down the corridor with your shirt off, whooping "where's the cantaloupe, people, seriously?" What gives? Louise, from Escamillo, Argentina
A: That's so last season. Some of the more pret a porter houses still run a catwalk like that, but the avant-garde is going with cadaverous models in whiteface tigercrawling slowly to the omnichord version of "Clubbed to death".
Q: I've heard that you are able to party non-stop for 40 days and nights, never developing a hangover or a cracked smile. Is it really true? Billy, from Mirik, Bhutan
A: It sure is Billy, but with great power comes great responsibility. You never know when I might have to save Texas by going on a marathon session of debauchery not seen since the times of lots of people dying from marathon sessions of debauchery.
Q: How big is your penis? Tiffany, from Tashi Tashi, Borneo.
A: Propriety prohibits me from being fully candid, Tiffer, but let's just say if I lost a leg I'd still have a pretty serviceable kick-stand.
Q: Has your spirit been broken by forces of evil who seek to enslave thousands? Dodi, from Erini-Jesha, Oshu State, Nigeria
A: I don't believe in spirits as do you primitives, but if I did, I believe my spirit would be a government employee named Norman. He would never do a day's work - not even cumulatively over several years. But you could never get rid of him.
Q: How can I be more like you? George, from Washington, District of Columbia, USA
A: Sadly, you cannot. In the early eighties I attempted to take over the world by making everyone just like me, but found that the forces of contradiction tore apart lesser humans, rendering them a grab-bag of medical refuse.
It's come to my attention that some misunderstandings about the nature of the Geoff may arise from time to time. Please refer to this handy FAQ, and address any further questions to the man himself:
Q: I've noticed that you've been spending a lot of time in your office with the lights off and the aircon on high. Is this because you are depressed, saddened or subdued? Teddy, from Derry, North Carolina, USA
A: It's because I'm hot. And not just in the way you're thinking.
Q: I can't remember the last time you flick-flacked your way down the corridor with your shirt off, whooping "where's the cantaloupe, people, seriously?" What gives? Louise, from Escamillo, Argentina
A: That's so last season. Some of the more pret a porter houses still run a catwalk like that, but the avant-garde is going with cadaverous models in whiteface tigercrawling slowly to the omnichord version of "Clubbed to death".
Q: I've heard that you are able to party non-stop for 40 days and nights, never developing a hangover or a cracked smile. Is it really true? Billy, from Mirik, Bhutan
A: It sure is Billy, but with great power comes great responsibility. You never know when I might have to save Texas by going on a marathon session of debauchery not seen since the times of lots of people dying from marathon sessions of debauchery.
Q: How big is your penis? Tiffany, from Tashi Tashi, Borneo.
A: Propriety prohibits me from being fully candid, Tiffer, but let's just say if I lost a leg I'd still have a pretty serviceable kick-stand.
Q: Has your spirit been broken by forces of evil who seek to enslave thousands? Dodi, from Erini-Jesha, Oshu State, Nigeria
A: I don't believe in spirits as do you primitives, but if I did, I believe my spirit would be a government employee named Norman. He would never do a day's work - not even cumulatively over several years. But you could never get rid of him.
Q: How can I be more like you? George, from Washington, District of Columbia, USA
A: Sadly, you cannot. In the early eighties I attempted to take over the world by making everyone just like me, but found that the forces of contradiction tore apart lesser humans, rendering them a grab-bag of medical refuse.
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