Sentience in a seed-pod

So it may have come to your attention that I haven't been posting much over the last while. There's no explanation. I haven't been busy, or tired. Swedish sailors have not kidnapped me and placed me in their glory box for a month feeding me only with their genetically superior semen. Aliens had not put things in my bottom. I have not put things in my bottom. I was not appointed Prime Minister of Djibouti. I do not have anthrax (to my knowledge). I did not accept Jesus as my personal saviour, nor did I read the Vedas in the original Sanskrit. I have not swum the Aegean, nor climbed the Caucasus. I can not peel a grape with my tongue (though I can can knot a cherry stalk. TIP: Use your teeth). I have not taken a lover. I have not learned to make buttered icing. I was not involved in the Tsunami incident. On that night I was not sober. I have not invaded Lesotho, nor invented chewing gum that disintegrates when the taste does. I am still not dead. Not undead either. I smell faintly, but that's it.