Sentience in a seed-pod

Stop reading ladies. The following is not designed for the fairer sex because it's about boys bits. And the pants that frame them. Specifically, this post celebrates the happy accident (or purposeful design by a loving creator, depending on your perspective) that renders boys capable of peeing while standing upright. The same blind luck (or careful forethought) allows boys to keep their pants on while peeing and, in some cases, pee around corners. It's not particularly useful to pee around a corner, but nor is it particularly useful to be able to yodel or gargle. We do these things for fun. That's what separates us from animals. That and a restraining order.

Stop trying to distract me! What I wanted to say was, guys, is it not just the best feeling in the world when you get to the urinal and you think you're wearing your button-fly jeans (no free marketing here Levis!) and you suddenly realise you're actually wearing a zipper? HOORAY! Instant gratification. Golden showers got my belly goin' oh yes yes! None of that poking about trying to undo the buttons. Just zip and go. Fwoah! And then, afterwards, no standing about looking like a tool trying to button up again in that awkward space between the basin and the bowl while other guys clear their throats uncomfortably. Am I right guys? Am I right?

Answer: I'm right.