Sentience in a seed-pod

You know how sometimes you get so bored you're actually desperate? This morning I was energised. I was full of the joys of spring. I was full of beans without the nasty purported flatulent side effects. I was good to go. I was on top form. Two hours of meetings later and my brain can be compared to that chewing gum you would spit out if only you had some place to put it.

So there I was. No escape. So I followed the steps of descent into desperate boredom:

1. I wisecracked with naive optimism.
2. I listened attentively.
3. I spaced out.
4. I started microsleeping.
5. I doodled.

At some stage I started to suffer boredom claustrophobia, fearing that my mind might actually asphyxiate and die due to a glut of superfluous information.

Now I'm a trainer right. I do this shit for a living. And I can tell you that today I fulfilled the archetype which comes in the form of the bored guy who knows too much actually to be in the class in the first place. We hate those guys. And we tell ourselves that the dude is an asshole. And we wait for him to get to stage 4 above and then ask him a really hard question to which he can't possibly know the answer. Then guess what, he can't answer the question and gets an adrenaline rush from the humiliation and wakes up a bit but completely hates you. That's ok, 'cause the feeling is mutual.

What's not ok is that you then go off and say to yourself, "Well, self, he was wrong. He thought he was too smart, but he didn't know the answer to my sneaky question, did he? He really wasn't smart at all." Which is complete crap. The problem is that between the bits of salient information is all this overhead that he indeed is too smart for, and this crap puts his brain to sleep. So take out the fluff, or get better at making fluff interesting, and stop thinking you're the yellow jersey of trainers until everyone else does too.

Who am I actually talking to? I don't know - I dosed off.