Sentience in a seed-pod

I'm calling this entry: why can't I?

Ok, people, whiney Geoff is about to throw down and bitch with the best of them because for the purposes of this post we'll pretend like my life is not all wine and roses.

Why can't I get in sync with my toiletries? (Yes, this is the best I can come up with. My issues are important too possums!) No, ok, it's not a big thing, but I think there's something wrong with the way I buy stuff or organise stuff. In fact, my laundry falls into the same category. I'm always buying new toiletries and getting more laundry done. It's as if I'm using shampoo and facewash and wearing all my clothes! Goddamn it!

Why can't I get a haircut? I need a haircut. I want a haircut. It's not like I don't walk past a hairdresser every single day of my life! Why do I not go in? What is this invisible force field that keeps me away?

Why can't I organise stuff at the bank? It would take like half an hour. I could go in at 12 and be sipping a milkshake by 12:40. What is my goddamn problem?