Sentience in a seed-pod

On The Origin of The Homosexual Jock by Means of Natural Selection,
or
The Preservation of Favoured Sexual Preferences in the Struggle for Lust:

Ok, on the way to work this morning I was thinking, and it's probably bollocks, but I'm gonna try and get it all out in the quickest and most coherent way I can manage.
If you look at humans as a species, rather than as individuals, and view humanity as an evolutionary entity with reproductive imperative, you might come to some or all of the following conclusions:

• physically attractive guys are more pleasant to mate with than non attractive guys (all things being equal)


• intellectually driven guys are better providers in a society in which manual labour is cheaper than desk jobs


• better providers have a better chance at successful child rearing, so are favoured by relationships focused on species propagation


• better maters are favoured by recreation driven relationships


• heterosexual relationships result in children and focus on propagation of the species


• homosexual relationships do not result in children and focus on recreation

Conclusion: the next evolutionary step in society is to produce homosexual jocks. No longer will homosexuals be sidelined by the mainstream. They will become the mainstream. Homosexuality will be cool, and elite - something to aspire to.

Actually, now that I've written that down I realise that it's complete drivel. Oh, well.

Socrates is dead, long live Socrates!

Reading about irony yesterday has led me to an epiphany. There are lots of different types of irony, all bound (I explain to myself) by the notion of someone not knowing what the hell is going on, and someone else having all the answers. Socrates was one of those particularly irritating guys who asks you questions he already knows the answer to. More annoying than that, he pretends to hold some point of view he really does not in order to draw you out to reveal your own prejudices and wrong thought patterns.
So I thought, who else does this? Why does it sound so familiar?
And that was it. Epiphany. Ali G. Sasha Baron Cohen is the new Socrates! And it works too - the misogyny of Cambridge professors, the arbitrariness of pop culture, the vagaries of British law, all out there for us to see. Lovely.

This morning I discovered that the cleaning lady has placed one of my "going out" tops under my pillow. I suddenly wonder if anyone else thinks the clothes I go out in look like pajamas.

I've always liked Alanis Morissette. I like her songs, and her lyrics, and I don't find her whiney. And I think she's smart. And pretty. Anyway, ever since I saw some young comedian (I think he was Irish) rip the song 'Ironic' to shreds in an admittedly hilarious diatribe, I've been meaning to rebuff him and other critics. But I didn't and this guy beat me to it.
Although now I think he's being a bit harsh on the critics too. The meaning of irony includes the often quoted definition which in longhand looks like:

A condition of affairs or events of a character opposite to what was, or might naturally be, expected; a contradictory outcome of events as though in mockery of the promise and fitness of things.
– Oxford English Dictionary (1st edition, c. 1900)

I'd like to paraphrase this as 'something unexpected happens', or more correctly, 'something really unexpected happens'. And if that's the case, what is or isn't irony is determined by what the observer expects, isn't it? Whatever fluid board of decision makers determines the 'fitness of things' at the time also sways the tarnished edge of the irony sword. So the critics can have their examples of irony just as Alanis can, as long as they can convince me they expected the natural course of things to turn out differently.
Play nice, children.

Arbitrary conversations #1:

The Rod walks in and says:

'Give me a real life example of a many to many relationship. I have a class of students.'

'Well, just take friendship.'

'But that'd just go round and round and end up confusing.'

'Well, change the relationship to "have had dinner with".'

'People I've had dinner with...'

So it looks like I'll be going back to Nigeria. India first. Then Nigeria. I like Nigeria. Why does no-one else?

I'm in a new department. No more will I code. Now, I will communicate, because I am a Corporate (Communications) Lackey. So I will train. But at least it leads to more interesting replies to the question:

'What do you do?'

'I travel and train people.'

'Cool, what do you train them to do?'

'Write banking software.'

'Errrrr...'

Anyway, the following demographics apply:
Managers 7%
Marketing 20%
PR 7%
Trainers 33%
Writers 20%
Graphics 13%
Programmers 0%
i.e. I am out of the business, at least temporarily.

United States Visa Applications are hard.
Especially if you don't read the web site.
If you read the web site, you would discover that:

• you need to pay first, elsewhere
  


• you need to bring all sorts of documentation, including your bank statements, lease agreements, custom forms (including an extra one if you're a man)
  


• you need to wake up in time for the appointment
  

Since I did none of the above, I will have to wait another two months for my next appointment. Dismally disorganised people who whine should get cut some slack. Please???